New Years Eve ponderings

I've never been a big fan of New Years Eve. It's hard to say why exactly but I suspect that over the years I have set my expectations too high. It's the climax of the year and it should end well...it should end the way you want the next year to begin. At least that has always been my belief. This year we have no big plans, and that is intentional, after all the travelling we have done this year, not to mention over Christmas itself. I am quite content to be still for a while. To take some time to replenish my energy, because of that I am in need, despite the time spent relaxing on a beach last week. Physical relaxation is great of course, but if the mind does not want to relax then you don't stand a chance really.

So, recapping on 2009, it's been one very amazing and unique year and it naturally falls into 3 parts...three chapters almost.

Chapter 1 was spent as a part-time yoga teacher - very much immersing myself in learning, practicing and teaching. Building my confidence as a relatively new teacher. I didn't truly appreciate it at the time but the fact that I was in this phase proved oh-so valuable in coping with the undercurrents of what was to come finally to fruition later in the year.

Chapter 2 was very unsettled, wondering if and when we might be changing countries again. We also took a visit back to our homeland and spent some wonderful weeks with family and friends which allowed us some freedom and a brief escape from all the wondering, even if it was only temporary.

The 3rd and final chapter saw us moving to Hong Kong. Just for a year. Despite the short time frame and in the end the extremely short notice to Go...it involved a huge amount of paperwork and well, stress. And here we are, 3 months later, pretty much settled in our apartment, in the physical sense.

And yes, on the last day of the year, I am still wrestling with the new lifestyle I find myself in. Suddenly the year ahead is wide open. Full of opportunity. Full of choice. And no doubt reasonably full of travel. It's all positive. So why do I feel fear creeping in? I suspect it's once again to do with expectation. High expectations of myself. There are so many things I could do with my time and I feel I should be doing as many of them as possible. After all, this is the first time in my life that I have not had a job at all and for that to be OK. The times I've been jobless before have all been stressful times, when I needed to have a job to survive. It's also easy to use your job to define yourself, to give you an identity. "I am a secretary, I am a yoga teacher"... you automatically present an image of yourself for other people and yourself. I realise this is false and that we are not what we do, but it's hard to get away from.

So whilst I am not setting new years resolutions...I am setting intentions for the new year and lets just hope that I can get out of my own way and let that opportunity find me in 2010.

Escaping Christmas

Today is Monday, 21st December. On Saturday, Alan and I were planning to be here in our apartment on Christmas Day. I was planning to cook a traditional christmas dinner in our small and not-very-social kitchen. We went out and did a spot of christmas shopping...just a spot, after all it is just us this year. No family, no friends. Then on Sunday we were both feeling rather under the weather and spent a quiet day at home. And we got to thinking. Perhaps we didn't want to spend christmas here after all. I had not been motivated to christmas-up the apartment so it does not exactly look festive - we are honoured to have some lovely cards from family and friends and one small string of fairy lights that Alan found in a box and put up at the beginning of the month but that is it. And it's cold. OK, maybe that seems appropriate at christmas time, but it's the wrong sort of cold. It's not snowy or freezing outside with bright blue sky...in fact, outside it's about 12 degrees and very damp and overcast but inside the apartment it feels SO cold. You see, there is NO heating in the apartment. In Hong Kong they only install air conditioning. Not heating. I guess that tells you something about the weather here, but even so, for the 3 months or so that it is not ridiculously hot and humid, it is the sort of cold that chills your bones. I wish now that I'd brought my slippers with me from Canada. Funny thing is, I never wore them in Canada, the house was always warm and we had carpet throughout half of the house. I have not actually worn them since I was in the UK. Now I wish they were here. Slippers, I hear you cry! She is in Hong Kong, surely she does not need slippers...well, let me tell you, I do!

Anyway, I am getting way off the point. We took a moment to consider our options. We checked out our loyalty points, hotel and flight availability and before the evening was out, we'd booked ourselves into a hotel in Phuket for 5 nights and we leave tomorrow morning!

Those of you who know me, may be shocked by my impulsive behaviour... I know I am! We booked so late that we actually had to check in when we confirmed the flights!

So, no food shopping for me tomorrow...no menus to prepare...instead, an early flight to catch to an exotic location where I'm hoping they will cook christmas dinner for us! It may seem a rather extreme step to take to get out of cooking christmas dinner, but hey... we always said this year was All About Travel, and with trips taken in October and November so far, it seemed only natural to take a trip in December too! :-)

Merry Christmas to you All, I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing, it is filled with love and good times.

December was a bit of a roller coaster

It's been a while since my last entry and I have plenty of good reasons for that. Well, reasons.

December has actually been a bit of a roller coaster month. Just a small roller coaster, nothing too dramatic but it has been enough to keep me from wanting to look some of my emotions in the face, by blogging. Instead, I've found other things to occupy my time, not all of them terribly useful as I have been finding it hard to get motivated. Not having a job or a regular routine has been a factor. Being in a new city and having to find a new life can bring forth all sorts of new and wonderful possibilities and opportunities but it can also bring forth overwhelming feelings and they can creep up on you and really take you by surprise.

One day, all is well, you feel good, feel like you are settled and "at one" with your new life and then the next day, you feel like you've been knocked over the head with a heavy object and you're reeling, not sure quite what to do about anything. At least that is how it's been for me. The good news is that those days I get whacked on the head do tend to propel me into action. It may take a day or two though to pick myself up and dust myself down. But that's OK. I am learning that timing in life cannot be controlled or scheduled and that is not easy for me to accept...but I am doing my best. I get frustrated that I have not made more progress, whatever that means. I think to me, it means that having always had a full time job up until a little over a year ago, I'm used to being busy, having my time filled but not necessarily with things I want it filled with. Now I have a chance to fill it with almost anything I want. Within reason. And what am I doing? Good question. I am still working that out but in the meantime I am being a tourist, I'm being a wife, a yoga student, a travel co-ordinator and last week, a host to our very first visitors - Yay! All those things are good and I am lucky to be in a place where I can simply be those things without a need or a demand to be anything else and yet....I think there is something else....maybe I'll find it in 2010.

Another Hike in Tai Tam Country Park

Today I went on my first AWA (American Womens Association) "easy hike". And it was, relatively speaking. Just a small group of 10 women who managed to get themselves to Tai Tam Country Park for 8.15am on a morning that seemed just ideal for a hike. There was a slight chill in the air as we set off (well, OK...not exactly a chill but it was cold enough to want to wear a fleece which I think is a pretty momentous occasion here) but as we began to lengthen our stride, the fleeces came off. The majority of this walk echo'd the one that Alan and I did a few weeks ago and it was quite nice to tread a familiar path. I know that I would have wanted to slow my pace and stop more to admire the view (and take photographs of course) if it had been my first time around but as it was, I was quite happy simply hiking. Once we reached the end of the trail and we said our goodbyes I managed to navigate my first HK bus and find my way back to Wanchai and home and I have to admit that it felt rather good walking back into the apartment at 11.15am with a 5 mile walk under my belt and the rest of the day ahead of me. I will do that again.

Settling in to my new life

Now that our furniture has arrived and 99% of all the stuff we shipped now has a new home, there is a new challenge to be had. What do I do now? Lets just recap. I don't have a job and without a work visa, I don't intend to get one in the coming year. I don't have any friends here, any family or a support system in general, excluding my lovely husband of course, who is obviously otherwise engaged during the week and indeed, currently most evenings too. I need a plan. It's not that I am yet climbing the walls or anything, or desperately lonely, over all I am dealing pretty well with the situation but I am aware that I need to find something to occupy my time, to give me a purpose, even some goals because all I really seem to be focusing on right now is trying to keep up with the usual household chores and let me tell you, this apartment (and I suspect this is not unique to our apartment here!) gets so very dusty! After the vacuum-sealed house in Ottawa, this place seems to manufacture dust. Of course the continuous construction outside will not help..nor the pollution in general. Canadians, take a moment to be very grateful for your beautiful clean air!!

It's not that I'm simply saying that I'm bored with housework, although that in itself might be a valid statement. Neither am I about to do what (apparently) most Brits do here and hire a maid to remove the burden. However, there is no doubt that this is an opportunity to have an adventure and whilst stuff does have to be done around the place and bills have to be paid here, back in Canada and even in the UK and that alone is capable of causing regular confusion, and a degree of attention, there is more to life...at least to this life, right here, right now and if I am not careful the PA and the Capricorn (aka very practical person) inside of me will somehow manage to make a full time job out of it and my year off will be over before I've finished the ironing pile!

So...I need that plan and I need it now!

We have a list of Things To Do while we are here - places to visit, things to see etc and with the weather currently perfect for hiking we are doing our best to get out and about at the weekends on the trails and we are slowly exploring new areas and trying to get fit again. Having spent the best part of November in hotels, eating out and over-indulging in general both my waistline and energy levels are suffering! It's definitely time to re-engage with my yoga practice (again) and maybe even make regular use of the gym facilities downstairs. Maybe.

I have also just joined an "expat group" which is made up of other newcomers to Hong Kong from all over the world, but I suspect mainly the US and the UK. It seems to be the way to go here. Making friends can take time, especially with the advancing years and the absence of children and there is no time to waste given our small window of opportunity here. My first outing with the group is on Wednesday. I'm off on another hike...did I mention it's a great time of year for hiking? :-)

So, we have a list of things to do together in our leisure time and I have been proactive about meeting some women who find themselves in a similar situation to me...time will tell how that goes. But I need more...I feel the need to be creative in some way. This in itself is relatively new for me. A few years ago, if anyone ever dared suggest anything I did was creative, I'd have strongly denied that it was even possible and that I simply was NOT creative. Then I did my yoga teacher training and I did finally acknowledge that I had at least some creative bones in my body. No pun intended.

What might evolve, remains to be seen. I have a few thoughts, a few ideas but nothing I am ready to broadcast just yet. For now I have my blog...which I'm enjoying. It's fun to do and it helps me to organise my thoughts...sort through them even and decide whether they should be filed, left on the pending pile or brought forward to be actioned.

Home

Today is a momentous day here in Hong Kong. Today is the day The Sea Shipment arrived at Bamboo Grove. I'm oh-so-grateful for my recent 2 weeks away which provided me with a much needed break from the frustrations of living in an empty apartment for 6 weeks, but Now, we can sit in comfort, eat our meals at a table, listen to CDs, watch DVDs, cook with the proper implements and we don't have to wash up immediately after each meal, as we now have a cupboard full of plates! It took 8 weeks for our shipment to arrive. That wasn't quite part of the agreement, but hey...life does not always go to plan. Sometimes the challenges just keep on coming.

It's been an interesting time, living without all the usual "stuff" that surrounds us. Some days I have barely given it a thought and have been quite content with the space that has been my Home. Other days, not so much and on those days I have tried to work out what it is that I am actually missing..what it is I really NEED. Some days it was simply comfort, either physical or emotional. Other days I longed for a particular "thing"; a book to read, or CD to listen to. On the days my body was crying out for a restorative yoga pose, I desperately missed my yoga props but some days I was just plain angry. It just did not seem fair. Those were the bad days and said more about how I was coping with the transition than the situation itself but I'm pleased to report there were not many of those. I thought there would be more.

It often got me to thinking about Home. About what makes home a Home. Surely it's not just about your "stuff"...material possessions, about bricks and mortar; it's much more than that. Is it friends and family? Is it where you "feel" at home? What is it that makes you feel at home somewhere? I confess I've had these thoughts before, when we moved to Ottawa. It was harder first time around. More confusing. More things were new and unexpected. Of course everything was new and different in ways you didn't expect them to be and you missed all the familiar stuff and that included people; family, friends, colleagues.

Second time around it feels different. Yes, it is a different country but that is not why it feels different. I feel less "at home" in this country than I did in the previous country and yet it's easier this time. I miss familiarity less. The separation from friends is less intense, and this probably has a lot to do with today's technology. The wonders of Facebook and Skype, of MSN and similar applications. I also have more time to connect and communicate this time around. Being here on a tourist visa has its perks!

So now that we have our sofa, our books, our kitchen stuff and other personal items surrounding us, yes, of course it feels much more like home. We have comfort and more choice about how we spend our time while we are within these four walls. We can re-engage with things we had to put on hold. It feels good. However, I believe Home extends beyond the four walls of our physical abode. It's also about people and our surroundings. About what surroundings you feel comfortable in. Even the climate plays a part, I believe. I often think that I was born to live in a cold or at least cool climate as I generally don't do well in the heat. How our body responds to temperatures can really affect our mood and how we deal with situations...at least that is true for me. Then there's people. We all need people to interact with and those people, and they can be complete strangers, can make a difference to how you experience life. Are they friendly and welcoming, are they approachable and easy to talk to, or do they appear completely disinterested in anyone else around them as they go about their daily business? I'm taking it all in....every country seems just a little different and it can affect the way I behave or respond and I find that really interesting.

I don't believe I have quite finished with this particular subject yet so I will continue to watch my reactions but I do believe I am getting better at finding Home regardless of the country I'm in.

Searching for the Beauty in Canberra

It's a bit of an odd day today. Alan had to go to Canberra for a meeting and decided to drive it rather than fly, so I opted to jump in with him and steal a day trip to another new city.

After a slow exit from Sydney, we were out on the open, empty road to Canberra. We had been warned to expect dull scenery so were pleasantly surprised by the varying geography...nothing drastic but there were definite changes along the way. Some roadworks, lots of speed cameras and warnings of police radar made our journey a bit longer than it could have been but overall, it was a good drive.

Upon arriving, we managed to miss the city centre...and drove straight passed it which was not encouraging but we did a u-turn and found it. I think. Alan dropped me in what appeared to be the city centre and drove off. That was 3 hours ago, not heard from him yet but I'm sure he won't forget me.

I have to say, and sorry if anyone from Canberra ever reads this, but it's a bit of an odd ball place. I wanted to record it on film so decided to take a few snaps...tried to find a picturesque angle....Hmmm... tricky. So I took some anyway. It is, what it is. I took my time just wandering the centre to see what my options were and how I could occupy my time here. Yesterday the advice I got from some Sydney locals was to head for the War Memorial Museum or the Parliament buildings as they were the highlights. Clearly I didn't do that...my head is still full of facts on Sydney architecture from yesterday and I was not quite ready for more facts and serious-ness today. However, maybe there was a reason I was pointed in this direction. My heart sank a little as I looked at my watch and wondered what on earth I'd do for the next 4, maybe 5 hours....then I realised I had a choice here. I could feel that way or I could see this as a challenge. So, I decided to look for the beauty instead. It's everywhere after all and there is more chance of seeing it, if we choose to see it.

I can't say that miraculously Canberra sprung to life and the concrete buildings, office blocks and largely uninspiring shops suddenly looked any different but I did begin to stumble on a few treasures. I found Siam Senses, a day spa and indulged my weary walk-a-holic feet with a reflexology treatment then found a magical alternative book shop that providing I bought a book and a coffee would provide me with their wireless password and allow me to access the internet...so here I am! I decided to buy a book on dreams because I keep having some really interesting ones lately and I want to record them and see if I can do some dream interpretation over the coming year. It's the most indepth book on dreams I've seen so far, so I hope it's good.

I'm wondering what time the shop shuts...I'm hoping I have a little longer before they throw me out and given that Canberra appears to be "closed" I'm not sure where to head next in this spread-out city...perhaps Alan's meeting will end early...or perhaps I'll find another gem around the corner.

My phone just rang...my chauffeur is on his way :-)